Dreaming About the Things That We Could Be
by katierosefun
Summary: [[Crushing] Reader x Kirk] You didn't really know why you liked Jim Kirk. Truth be told, he was a bit too arrogant and everyone in Starfleet Academy knew that he was a bit of a player. However, that didn't keep you from thinking about his electric, blue eyes or his scruffy, blonde hair or his mischievous smile. And of course, it didn't help that you were on the Enterprise with him.


**This is my very first second person narrative story. I'm not very used to this kind of writing, but hey, I tried my best! :P It's been a while since I ever wrote a Star Trek fanfic as well, so my skills might be a bit rusty. *winces* But please give me a chance! **

**Reviews make the world go 'round! Constructive criticism is tolerated but flames are not! To anyone who might be confused, a flame is a simple comment that doesn't offer any help or pointers on how to improve. **

* * *

You didn't really know _why _you liked Jim Kirk. Truth be told, he was a bit too arrogant and everyone in Starfleet Academy knew that he was…well, a bit of a player.

However, that didn't keep you from thinking about his electric, blue eyes or his scruffy, blonde hair or his mischievous smile.

But you knew better than that—you couldn't fall in love with Jim, not with _his_ reputation.

When the two of you went to the Academy together, you simply ignored him even though he would occasionally whistle over to you.

Keeping your head down, you would quickly duck out of sight or take sudden interest in the window or the desk or the closest intimate object you could find.

No, you promised yourself that you wouldn't turn into one of Kirk's hopeless, little fangirls. You wouldn't get your heart broken like the many girls who had made the mistake of dating Jim.

And so that was what happened—you did just that. For four years, the only things you did were pay attention to your studies and try to stay active during class. You would have a drink with your friends once in a while, maybe go hang out at a party, but generally, you were a rather quiet and shy person.

After hearing that Kirk had somehow become the captain of the USS Enterprise in his third year of going to Starfleet Academy, you didn't do as much as blink.

_Good for him, _you thought loftily and went back to catching up on a lecture that you had missed earlier that day.

However, a small part of you was disappointed. You probably won't ever be seeing Jim Kirk again, and if you did, then he wouldn't remember you. He wouldn't ever look at you as that person who he whistled at three years ago. If anything, he would just look at you as just a student at the Academy.

_Doesn't matter, _you thought, glaring down at your PADD. _Doesn't matter, doesn't matter, doesn't matter. Go back to studying, damn it. _

But that all changed in your fourth year.

You were assigned to the USS Enterprise, and that also meant that you'd be under the command of none other than _Captain _James T. Kirk.

Your breath got caught in your throat. _What? _That _had_ to be a mistake, especially since you were sure that you weren't _that_ clever to be on such an important vessel.

"[Y/N], you're on the Enterprise!" Your friend, Sydney, squealed loudly in your ear. "You're on the Enterprise! You're on the Enterprise! You're on the—"

You waved your hand weakly, signaling your hyperactive companion to quiet down. "I get it," you said with a small smile. Though you acted modest and humbled, you were secretly pleased.

Sydney did not waste any time in telling you why you must be so pleased.

"[Y/N], you know what this means, right?" She said mischievously.

Not bothering to wait for a reply, she squealed, "You get to be with Ki—"

You quickly slapped a hand over her mouth and hissed, "Be quiet! Do you _want_ to attract attention?"

Your friend shrugged and gave you a sheepish thumbs-up. With a sigh, you dropped your hand and squared your shoulders.

"I'll have to pack, then," you said simply and without another word, you turned on your heel and got ready for tomorrow's adventures.

* * *

Now, you were working in sickbay along with Dr. Leonard McCoy, and though you had been working beside him for several days now, you are still in awe and shock.

"You know, sweetheart, this is very real so you can stop squeezing your wrist now," Leonard once told you when he found you pinching yourself.

Blushing lightly, you nodded and gave him a tentative yet sheepish smile.

The doctor simply smiled back and within seconds, you found yourself making an easy conversation with him. It was relaxing and though you were still nervous about being on the ship, it was nice to know that you had made yourself a friend.

It turned out that Leonard remembered you from his earlier days in Starfleet and he grinned when you told him that you didn't expect to be here.

"You'll fit in just fine, [Y/N]." Leonard said.

You laughed lightly under your breath in response and turned back to your own work.

* * *

Sure enough, the doctor was right and in the next few days, you were feeling comfortable and relaxed. You were beginning to see the captain frequently as well, and though you kept quiet, you would always steal a glance or two from him.

However, it wasn't long before that changed.

On one particular day, you walked into sickbay to find that Leonard was not present. You frowned to yourself—that was most unusual, seeing that the doctor was usually the first one to come every single day.

You turned to one of the nurses and asked, "Do you know where Doctor McCoy is?"

The nurse frowned. "No, I'm sorry," she replied. "It's not that late, though. I'm sure he'll arrive soon."

You nodded, but the second the nurse turned around; you darted out of the sickbay and headed down to Leonard's quarters. A smile spread across your face at the thought of surprising your friend.

You reached his quarters and punched in his passcode without even blinking. Though technically, passcodes were meant to be private, you had always managed to find out Leonard's passcode just by looking at the formation that his fingers took.

The door slid open and you walked in to find Leonard sitting in his desk, his head buried in his arms.

Rolling your eyes, you walked into the room and nudged the doctor gently.

"Leonard?" You whispered softly. "Come on, don't tell me that you're gonna go to sickbay _late_."

At your words, the doctor sat up quickly and blinked the sleep out of his eyes. "What the fuck," he began to say and glanced at the chronometer.

Once he realized what the time was, he muttered a rather angry, "_Shit!_" and you watched, amused, as he tried to get ready.

You looked down at his desk to look at a rather large packet of paper. "Geez…" You murmured, picking it up gingerly. "Don't tell me that you were doing _this_ all night…"

"_Someone's _got to do it," Leonard replied over his shoulder. "And I had to—" His voice suddenly cut off and he groaned.

"What's wrong?" You asked worriedly.

"I forgot about Jim's goddamn checkup today," Leonard growled. "That bastard would look for _any_ excuse to skip one and he's gonna have a field day when he finds out that I forgot…"

You winced and clasped your hands behind your back. "Maybe you can catch him in time," you said helpfully.

"Maybe.." Leonard muttered and he looked up at you. He blinked and sighed.

"Actually, [Y/N], do you mind getting Jim for me? Just grab him out of the bridge and tell him to go to sickbay—heck, walk him down there if you can." Leonard said pleadingly.

You stared at the doctor and shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot. "I don't know…" You mumbled.

"Don't worry, [Y/N], I'll be there in a couple minutes." Leonard said. "It'll just be for a second. You've done this sort of stuff before—it'll be a piece of cake."

_Only, this is the captain, not a simple crewmate._ You thought to yourself but nodded to Leonard. "Fine," you muttered. "But you owe me one."

Leonard rolled his eyes. "Whatever, kiddo."

You managed to give him a halfhearted smile and opened the door. You ran down the halls of the Enterprise and took the lift to the bridge. As the lift went up, you couldn't help but to rehearse what you would say to Jim.

_"__Doctor Leonard McCoy has requested me to escort you to sickbay." _

You blinked and shook his head, your face heating up. That sounded much too formal.

And the word _escort_? That sounded as though you were asking him to a party or something! You felt your cheeks warming up even more and before you could think of anything else, the doors of the lift opened and you were suddenly watching people working at the bridge.

For several moments, the only thing you could do was stand there and try to regain your breath as several pairs of eyes travelled to you, including the captain's.

"Um…" You muttered and felt your neck growing warm as well as your face. "Um...permission to proceed to the bridge?"

_You're already here, idiot! _You thought indignantly to yourself as more eyes focused on you.

"Permission granted," Jim replied, swiveling around in his seat casually.

Your eyes suddenly locked to his, and for a few minutes, you find yourself trying to breathe as your [E/C] irises met with Jim's blue ones.

You try your best to not flounder like a fish out of water and finally found your voice. "Doctor McCoy requested for me to bring you to the sickbay." You said shakily, absent-mindedly clutching the hem of your uniform.

You couldn't help but to inwardly wince—that sounded even worse now that you heard yourself say it.

However, no one snickered or laughed—the captain simply pouted and stood up. "I _knew _it was too good to be true," he joked and walked towards you.

You awkwardly stepped out of the way and waited for him to get into the lift first. As soon as he was in the lift, you walked in steadily after him and the doors closed.

It only took a few seconds of silence when Jim said, "You look familiar."

Your heart skipped a couple of beats and you managed a small, "Really?"

Jim smirked and you wondered if your heartbeat was just as loud as it sounded in your ears.

"'Course," he replied. "I don't forget people easily."

"Oh. Wow," was your only response. You fiddled a bit more with the hem of your uniform and didn't stop until Jim spoke again.

"So, you've been working with Bones—I mean, Doctor McCoy?" Jim asked politely and your heart sank.

Politeness meant that a person wasn't very interested. Politeness meant that the person was just talking to pass the time.

Whatever Jim Kirk that you had met four years ago definitely wasn't the same person now.

_Maybe he matured, _you thought, and to your surprise, you felt your heart sinking even deeper. You felt annoyed at that—really, you hadn't shown _that_ much interest towards him when you two were in the Academy together. You shouldn't be upset.

As soon as the lift doors slid open, you walked out quickly, your shoulders squared. You would _not_ be disappointed in whatever the captain said or did—you absolutely would _not. _

When you reached sickbay, Leonard was waiting for the two of you. You walked in, grateful that it was over, and quickly got to work.

However, you weren't left alone just yet.

"What's with the face, [Y/N]?" Leonard asked you lightly as he got out his medical kit. "Jim didn't bother you, did he?"

"Aww, Bones—" Jim protested but you shook your head.

"Of course not," you replied. "And what's wrong with my face?"

"Nothing, you're just scowling. Doesn't look nice." Leonard replied.

"Scowling's _your_ thing," Jim added in cheerfully and the doctor simply rolled his eyes.

You felt yourself smiling and Jim grinned widely. "See? _She _appreciates my jokes!" He pointed out.

"Her name is [Y/N], and hold still, Jim." Leonard replied, taking out a tricoder.

You felt a little bubble rising in your chest as Jim gave you a friendly (or at least, you think so,) wink before turning back to Leonard.

You turned away quickly and tried to pay more attention to your work, but you couldn't help but to let your mind wander off. It was so confusing with Jim Kirk—one minute, you were certain that he was just being nice, and the next moment, you feel as though…as though you two had a chance.

The second that thought formed into your head, you let out a small, bitter laugh under your breath. You quickly turned to look over your shoulder and took a glimpse of the captain, his head thrown back in laughter.

_It's just going to be a little fantasy in your head, _you thought somewhat sadly to yourself. _It's just going to be a little dream. _

After a couple more minutes of Jim and Leonard half teasing and half arguing with each other, the captain stood up to make his leave.

"See you around, Bones." He grinned and looked down at you.

The next words and movements came at you like slow motion.

"Nice to see you again, [Y/N]." Jim said with another smile. "I'll be seeing you around."

With that, he gave a little salute to the two of you and he walked out of sickbay.

You stared at the spot where Jim was standing just seconds ago and let out a small, incredulous giggle.

Leonard looked sideways at you and he pretended to groan in exasperation. "Not you, too!" He said. "I was hoping that you wouldn't get caught."

"What do you mean?" You asked, automatically trying to cover up your smile. It wasn't a very successful attempt—the smile kept returning to your face.

"You know _exactly _what I mean." Leonard replied with a small eyebrow lift.

You rolled your eyes and poked him in the arm teasingly, though your heart was soaring. "I don't think I do." You replied and walked back to your station, humming.

* * *

**A/N: Hopeless Jim Kirk crushing. :P Who's suffered from it? Come on, don't be shy-I know I have! *raises hand* **

**Jim: What was that? **

**Me: You! Get out! I'm doing my character rant/dialogue thingies! And you weren't invited! **

**Jim: Don't care. *takes a bite out of an apple and sits down on my desk chair* **

**Me: Get out, please. **

**Jim: Nope. **

**Me: BOOOONES! **

**Leonard: What? *looks at my laptop* Oh, no. *begins to walk out* **

**Me: Come back here! I want you to do the review notice and get Jim out with you! **

**Jim: Aww...*hurt eyes* I thought you said that you suffered from...what did you call it? 'Hopeless Jim crush-'**

**Me: Shut up! *blushes furiously* BONES! A LITTLE HELP WOULD BE NICE! **

**Leonard: *sighs* Dammit Caroline, I did it last time! **

**Me: It's been a while! Just work with me! **

**Leonard: Fine...please review, constructive criticism...and...no flames. Now, c'mon, Jim. **

**Jim: *pouts* **

**Leonard: Now. While we're young, please. **

**Me: See ya! XD**


End file.
